Why can't life be like a book?

With my 'professional' hat on as a freelance editor and proofreader I have to admit that I am a lover of books and from an early age escaped into them.

However my current project has given me great concern - not on the editing side but because of the subject matter. It's a book on childcare and with a 3 year old I should know it all - right? With each new section I hang my head in shame comments like 'Don't turn mealtimes into a battle', 'Children should be encouraged to fall asleep on their own and stay in their own room/bed all night', 'Never raise your voice to a child', 'never bribe children with treats', 'never withhold affection as punishment' etc.

So with the New Year I promised I would be a much better mum - I would not lose my temper or lock myself in the toilet for 5 minutes peace. We would play educational games and go on instructive outings which would also be fun.

So why on only the 2nd January are we under house arrest with half of his Christmas presents confiscated and a ban on pre-school TV?

Well I came to the conclusion at 4am - after constant screaming for attention from 1am - that the books are wrong! They have no section on what to do when you are dragged from sleep by a toddler who has already had 6 hours rest and is ready for breakfast and play when all you want to do is sleep! I could bullet point the emotions, the tactics and the progress from cajoling to pleading, crying and shouting. I could map out the consequences of the fact that my husband only had 40 minutes sleep before heading out for another 12 hour shift or that my patience is on a knife edge. The 'angelic one' is bemused this morning as he claims not to remember anything and can't understand why mummy is cross. Perhaps I need a new book .... or some good ear plugs.