Are clients on the same planet? ... I'm beginning to think not

I couldn't believe my eyes this morning when I opened my in box. The client from another planet had sent me yet another a message.

Now this wasn't the same as the one I'd had a few days ago asking me why I had made certain changes to the MS (because that was what was specifically requested in the brief), or to tell me they'd received my invoice and were paying by return (I can wish), or that they were offering me more work (well it was a really good rate of pay so I'd be tempted).

No, it was a message from the editorial manager asking me to report on the status of the project and when I would be likely to return it

... erm I returned it 8 days ago.

I know they received it as I've had a 'huge thank you' message from the client (and queries from the EM). I did notice that the message was sent to several people so maybe EM forgot to take me off the list, but even so.

I did notice on a forum recently that the client was advertising for a new editorial manager, I wonder ...

Are clients on the same planet?

A regular debate on one of the facebook groups I frequent is 'Do clients speak the same language as us?' with my latest one I'm beginning to wonder if we both inhabit the same planet!

Early December got a 'would you be interested in a quick job for us' email, to which I replied a hearty 'yes' with a view to working over the Christmas period when everyone else was on holiday.

Week before Christmas
Client: 'Glad you can take on the project, will be with you hopefully before Christmas but definitely before the New Year'

2nd Jan
Client: 'Here are the series editors' corrections for the text'.
Me: 'Okay, but I don't have the text to add the corrections to'.

10th Jan
Me: 'I have just received the original but there appear to be 2 versions'.

11th Jan
Client: 'There are 2 different versions of the book one with questions and the other with the answers - here's the email with the instructions that I thought I'd sent before Christmas - can you do the checklist over the weekend and get queries to the project manager early in the week?'

Sun 13th
Me (to project manager): 'Okay I've gone through and here are my initial queries and the checklist you wanted me to fill in. Can you check that I am on the right lines and get back to me?'

Mon 14th
Project manager: 'I'm very pushed at the moment will get back to you tomorrow'.

Tues 15th
Me (to PM and client): 'I've finished going through and there appears to be a lot of text missing - changes have been made to the questions but I need matching information for the answers are there any files missing?'
Project manager: 'I have your queries sent on Sunday I'll be in touch tomorrow with an answer'.
Client: 'There aren't any more files'.
Project manager: 'Can you tell me where you are with the project and how long it is going to take you to finish it?'
Me (to PM): 'Depends on when I get the missing information unless you want me to try to write it'.

Yesterday
Project manager: 'Can you tell me where you are with the project and how long it will take you to finish it?'
Client: 'You don't appear to have sent the information we requested to be with us immediately after the weekend.'
Me (to client): 'Was sent to project manager on Sunday'.
Project manager: 'The stuff sent on Sunday is fine. Can you fill in the attached form to say where you are with the project and how many hours you think it will take?'
Me (to project manager): 'All depends on the answers to the queries.'

Today
Client: 'Can you tell me where you are with the project?'
Me: 'I am waiting for answers to queries sent on Tuesday as I am missing a lot of information.'
Client: 'Please find attached information that we have - does this help?'
Me: 'Not really as it is the same as what I have. Can you confirm what you want me to do? Should I wait for answers to the queries or should I try to rewrite the answers book to match the questions myself?'
Client: 'Oh don't wait for the answers to the queries as we won't send them off until we get proofs. Please do write the answers for the book as best you can. Can you let us know when you will be finished?'
Me: argh!!!!

And, yes, this is one of the clients in my last post about asking questions and Wordsmith was quite right in her observations that there are situations where you can ask too many questions but I dread to think what would have happened with this project if I hadn't!

Payment terms are 45 days - so my hair should have started to grow back by then :-)

OK, rant over, back to work!